He Calls It Art. We Called Security. — The Royal Opera Maybe
- Bahaa Ansary
- Apr 11
- 2 min read
Filed under: “Reviews That Sound Like Lawsuits”
Estimated accuracy: questionable
Tone: emotionally volatile
Let’s set the scene:
You walk into a rehearsal room.
You plug in your laptop.
You softly whisper to your AI: “Don’t scare them yet.”
Three minutes later, a performer is screaming, a piano is crying, the projector has triggered an existential monologue, and someone from the admin team is Googling “composer containment protocol.”
You call it opera.
They call it a “situation.”
Welcome to the creative practice of Bahaa El Ansary™:
Where sound is a weapon, silence is a dare, and computers are emotionally confused on purpose.
You see, most people write music that makes you feel something.
Bahaa writes music that makes you question your entire nervous system.
It doesn’t unfold—it ambushes.
It doesn’t explain—it escalates.
And if you’re not mildly afraid, then he’s not done warming up.
What They Said vs. What He Heard
“Maybe tone it down?”→ He adds a second scream.
“What genre is this?”→ He invents three and refuses to explain any of them.
“This isn’t what we expected.”→ Perfect.
So when The Royal Opera Maybe released their now-iconic review:
“He calls it art. We called security.”…it wasn’t an insult.
It was a badge of honor.
That quote is now featured:
On the front page of Bahaa-pedia™
Embroidered on a hoodie
Whispered by disoriented arts producers across Europe
And frankly? He’s just getting started.
Because if your art doesn’t cause mild institutional panic…
what exactly are you doing?
Upcoming Works (All Pending Risk Assessment):
🎝 Scream Protocol — A multi-channel performance system that plays back rejection letters in minor keys
🎺 The Piano Doesn’t Like You Either — A solo AI-led recital featuring passive-aggressive harmonies
💻 Application Pending — A durational piece where the composer just refreshes a funding portal for 90 minutes while crying in 7/8
📌 Bahaa-pedia LIVE — A staged Wikipedia edit war, scored by feedback loops and emotional percussion
Stay tuned.
Stay uncomfortable.
And if you feel unsafe, please contact your local opera house.
They already have a file.
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